vaginal-kimchi:

t-jumblr:

knottedodyssey:

I WAS JUST CLEANING OUT MY BIBLE AND I FOUND THE MOST HILARIOUSLY PETULANT PARABLE

image

jesus is PISSED

it’s not FIG SEASON

he’s PREPARING TO DIE

so he curses a fucking tree.

you child.

Go home Jesus. You’re drunk.

maybe all this time the saying is god hates FIGS

How the fuck does one clean out a bible.

(via ladypants)

omg being constipated for 3 days and then finally pooping has got to be the best feeling in the whole world

jrugs:

waking up everyday seems a little excessive

honestly though

(via thefuuuucomics)

vincentvangoth:

when u miss the last step on the stairs

image

(via thefuuuucomics)

You mean the fucking bonfire I told you I was going to multiple times today when you called to check up and see what I was doing?

Because I’m pretty sure I’d know if I smoked cigarettes. Which I don’t.

castielwinchestqueer:

arctickayla:

tkushes:

rhabdomancer:

tkushes:

never seen awful statues?? I think u are forgetting all of Michelangelo’s attempts at sculpting women, the big queer

Damn, how could I forget?

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Dented oranges are my favorite type of breast

Michel-I’ve never seen a naked woman-angelo 

he literally just sculpted a man’s pectorals and put lumpy lemons on them

(via thefuuuucomics)

psychoticmist:

if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’

(via peepss)

intertnet:

is there a scholarship for trying

(via thefuuuucomics)

aroharveyspecter:

none gender with left girl

(via misslyradawn)

imreallybad:

repeat after me: 

  • virginity is a social construct 
  • you don’t lose your virginity 
  • there’s nothing valuable or precious about virginity, it’s an imaginary concept 
  • virginity is inherently heterocentric 
  • your worth is not defined by whether or not you’ve had a dick inside you
  • what you define as sex is up to you, you get to decide how many people you’ve had sex with 
  • the end 

(via misslyradawn)